Preparing Your Parents For Assisted Living

If there’s one thing that Baby Boomers are used to, it’s going through life’s changes as a group. One of those changes includes addressing the issue of aging parents who reached the point where daily assistance with living is often necessary. Fortunately, others have been there before you and have shared solutions, and there are many organizations and facilities available to help both parties prepare for these transitions.

It’s not an easy thing for seniors – or anyone, for that matter – to face the thought of losing their independence due to age or health matters. Most often, the burden of easing people into these necessary transitions falls to their children. It’s a challenging process that brings out the best and the worst in everyone involved – primarily because there are so many factors to deal with. It can seem overwhelming. We’d like to suggest some methods to help prepare for this change if it may be coming up in your near future.

1. PLAN AHEAD.

One of the biggest mistakes that many families make is putting off discussions until it becomes an urgent matter and then decisions must be made rapidly – such as after a major medical crisis. Many seniors unrealistically believe they will be able to care for themselves for the rest of their lives. And that’s where their children or other family members can be instrumental – to identify current or potential future problems, and then open ongoing discussions.

No matter what the age of your parent, it is never too early to begin communicating about the future. Decisions can be made together about how your parents will wish to proceed when (or if) certain aging or health benchmarks occur. This can include taking steps to document wills or health directives. And planning ahead is also a valuable tool to secure their peace of mind regarding any concerns they may have about catastrophic illness or end-of-life preferences they have. (It’s always easier to talk about it when it’s not actually happening!)

By opening the lines of communication early, it allows for long-term dialog and planning that can remove the sudden shock of going from independence one day – to being fully dependent the next.

2. ENLIST HELP.

a) Involve the Family. This will undoubtedly be a big job, so enlist help from your family. It is especially crucial that all the adult siblings are giving their parents the same general message.

b) Form a Caregiving Team. Gather brothers, sisters, children and uncles and aunts together to address an ailing loved ones needs. Have a meeting and discuss the problem and suggested solutions without the parent present. Having the input of a professional to guide the family through the transition’s emotional and physical aspects would be helpful, too.

c) Power of Attorney. One of the most important things is to decide is “Who will make the critical decisions?” Typically, experts recommend that one capable person be appointed as the primary advocate. This person should be in charge of financial decisions and act as the durable power of attorney for health care.

1. PREPARING FOR THE MOVE.

a. Plan Effectively. Before families begin the sorting and organizing process, it will help to have a visual representation of where they will be living. What rooms need to be furnished? How many square feet is the new residence? Having a say in what will be included in their immediate surroundings will help provide your parents with a sense of empowerment.

b. Sort and Organize. Downsize and categorize everything: Items to be moved, keepsakes to be left with family, to be sold or donated, and what to throw out. But don’t allow yourself to become a packing robot lacking feelings. Honor the emotional attachment to personal belongings and allow your parents to reminisce as you help sort out their possessions. Remember, these are not just things you’re moving; they’re memories.

c. Clean and Repair. Whether the house is going to be sold, rented or passed on to another relative — the general requirements are the same. The house should be cleaned, and required repairs should be made. It’s better to take care of maintenance issues all at once rather than dealing with them later while the house is for sale.

d. Moving Day. Decide if you’re doing it yourself, hiring help, or using a full-service mover. Then pack accordingly.

e. Ensure Their Comfort. Take care to ensure the most precious cargo of all: your loved ones. If a long-distance move, keep in mind that 18-hour driving days probably aren’t the best choice for them. If possible, arrange to have them moved by air or comfortably by car, and to stay with relatives or in a hotel until their belongings have been unpacked at their new residence. Helping them to avoid confusion, worry, and fatigue will go a long way to creating optimum circumstances for the transition.

It can’t be said often enough that by far, the most important tool you have at your disposal is communication. By having regular conversations with your parents about future plans – and sharing your concerns about wanting to ensure their health and safety – it allows them to take an active role in the decision-making process. One great way to see if from your parents’ point of view: Ask yourself how you would want your kids to address this topic with you!

New Home Resource helps current and future homeowners with all of their Las Vegas real estate needs. Whether your preference is for a newly-built home from a local builder, or a resale property in just the right location, a New Home Resource Realtor® is here to find the perfect property for you. Please contact a New Home Resource Realtor® today at 702-365-1000 or at www.newhomeresource.com. Broker Joanna Piette, and agents Denise Moreno Thrasher, Jessica O’Brien, Evelyn ‘Beng’ Kern, Lance Partin and Kathy Paterniti are all here to help!